The Clumsy American

In the newly renovated daily marketplace in Tepa

Valentine's Day tulips

In spite of the fact that I feel completely included and accepted here, I have been known to commit certain faux pas that simply go along with living in a different culture. No matter how prepared you are when you visit a foreign country, or how much you think you know about it, there are always cultural differences that lie under the surface of which you might not be aware. The first time I made an embarrassing cultural mistake was just three days into my visit here. It was the day we were leaving Mexico City and traveling to Hidalgo. Lina, one of the teachers at the school, had come to pick us up. After we met, she introduced me to a fellow named Alberto. Not knowing who he was or what his relationship was to her, I asked if he was the driver, perhaps making an assumption about class. They laughed uncomfortably, and informed me that, no, he was one of the teachers at the school, who had come along to navigate while she, in fact, drove. I'm sure I turned a bright shade of red, and thought I would never live it down, but, after that, every time I saw him, he'd refer to himself jokingly as my chauffeur. We laugh about it to this day. 

Not long after we moved into our house, I was wanting the windows washed. I'd do it myself, but they are impossible to reach from the outside. I thought maybe a cleaning person would have the equipment to do the job, but where to find one? One day, a lady came to visit my neighbor, a person dressed, in my mind, for heavy work, and I asked if she was the cleaner. She nicely informed me that she was not. I skulked away, wishing I would learn to keep my mouth shut.

Then there's the matter of what to bring when someone has a party: food? No, that might insult the cook. Wine? Maybe, but what if they don't drink? We know plenty of people here who don't. Flowers? Maybe. But what if it's a child's party? We were invited to one not long ago, and I brought as a gift this cute water bottle shaped like a donut in shades of pink and purple - for a little girl, right? We get to the party to find that this sweet child is obsessed with some hideous blue monster that's on some cartoon or other, and there was nothing pink in sight. I will never know if she liked the gift because she didn't open it then and there. In fact, we left before the cake was served, which was probably an offense, but, once we were making our good-byes, it was too late to turn back. 

Another party - in the front patio with neighbors

One of the clumsiest moments I've had was when Cristina took us to the archeological site in Tula. Afterward, we went to eat in a fairly nice restaurant. There were about eight of us in the group, and I thought that it would be nice for Jon and I to pay, partly just to avoid figuring out the bill but also because they had driven us all that way and showed us all around Tula, and I wanted to pay them back for their kindness. So I went to the waitress and handed her a card, letting her know I wanted to pick up the tab. When Cristina asked for the bill and the waitress said it had been handled, Cristina's face took on an expression of absolute shock. When I told her I'd paid, she was speechless, but not with gratitude. She was angry - trying hard to contain it - but genuinely angry. I couldn't understand her reaction at all. Finally, once she calmed down, she and the others explained that when a Mexican person invites you to eat, they pay. Period. We were their guests, and it was insulting that we paid. It was almost like flaunting our wealth (which of course we don't exactly possess). We talked it out and I apologized profusely and then we were able to laugh about it, but I learned a big lesson that day in Mexican etiquette. 

Jon and I are learning the indigenous
language of this area, Hñahñu,
in this weekly class

Finally, though this is hardly the last gaff I've committed or probably will commit, my school coordinator, Rico, had been wanting to take us to one of the towns that Mexico has designated as magical, Real del Monte. However, between his schedule and ours, we could never settle on a date. Finally, on one of my days off, Jon and I decided to just go. Who knew when we'd be able to coordinate with Rico? And so we went. Later that very day, I got a text from him: "Shall we go to Real del Monte tomorrow?" With great embarrassment and amid profuse apologies, I texted him to let him know we'd gone that morning. I don't think he was all too pleased, but he's learned to forgive my awkward ways, or at least I think he has because he's always so very kind to me. 

Some of the students in my English Workshop
working on a map of the world. 

Otherwise, life has been calm these past few weeks. We bought a couple of old bikes and have been riding them around the town, usually late in the afternoon when it's cool. Something about it reminds me of kayaking because, if you take the back roads and head out into the countryside, the wind is in your hair and the setting sun is caressing your face; you feel free, at one with nature. We ride past corn and alfalfa fields, and houses in various phases of construction. The grey/blue hills rise in the distance and you think to yourself, "this is Mexico." Unlike what you hear on the news, so serene, and so very safe. We've been musing on what it would take to own a place here, maybe even the place we're living in now, but that will require a lot of negotiation and figuring out of things that we may not have the means or wherewithal to do. I'm not talking about not returning to the states - just maybe having a way to come back to this place that is such an unlikely getaway destination. Yet we're so completely in love with it, how do we say good-bye forever? I'm not going to think about that now. Maybe I'll just focus on behaving correctly, as much as I possibly can.

This is a video of a Valentine's Day party for the teachers. We chose names out of a hat to exchange gifts, and enjoyed food from a local restaurant. Listen, and you'll hear one of the teachers beautifully singing Rihanna's "Love on the Brain."