I'd been preparing for this moment for almost a year: a year of writing, re-writing, and re-writing again my personal statement and statement of purpose, answering in-depth application questions, and pulling together recommendations. Then comes the first interview with the Fulbright committee at Portland State. I Nail it. They recommend me to the Fulbright international committee in New York who send me to the semi-finals round. The second interview is with the Mexican committee. I Nail it. Then I wait. I check my emails obsessively several times a day for three weeks.
Just when I've resigned myself to more waiting, at two o'clock in the afternoon on Friday, March 25th, 2022, I check my email for the hundredth time that day, and I see it in my inbox: FULBRIGHT U.S. STUDENT PROGRAM APPLICATION UPDATE.
My heart starts to pound. I open the email and see the link that will take me to my application. I click it. For weeks I've been practicing creative visualization: thinking positive thoughts and picturing this trip happening. In this moment though, I doubt all of it. "They're going to say no. They're going to say no," is all I can think. On my application page, I see this: A DECISION LETTER IS NOW AVAILABLE. CLICK HERE. I'm alone in my living room. My husband, Jon, is out. My heart thudding in my ears, I click that link. Hardly believing what I'm seeing, I read these words:
Dear Ms. Young-Ellis:
On behalf of the Fulbright Foreign Scholarship Board, I am pleased to congratulate you on your selection for a Fulbright award to Mexico for academic year 2022-2023.
It goes on for four more paragraphs: all about the history of the Fulbright, how the recipients have gone to achieve great things, winning Pulitzers and Nobel Prizes and everything else but all I can think, through my sobs and tears, is: I did it. I did it. And I hate to say this, but, honestly, I needed the win. I needed to achieve something that to me felt bigger than the acting roles I've had, the books I've published, the degrees I've earned, even the excellent child I've raised, and the loving marriage I've maintained for 34 years.
I call Jon. I'm sobbing. He's laughing. He'll be home soon. I call my mom. We're both crying and laughing. I continue to make phone calls and send texts, reading the letter over and over to be sure it's real. I still don't know where in Mexico I'm going, but I will be teaching English and doing a research project (more on that later) there for about 9 months, husband and cat in tow.
Jon comes home bearing flowers and champagne. We make reservations at our favorite restaurant. There's lots and lots of planning to do and things to arrange, but, for now, it's all joy.
I can't wait to see where this amazing opportunity will take us.
